“Love & Hip Hop Hollywood” Season 4 Cast, Synopsis and Spoilers

Love & Hip Hop Hollywood returns tonight (Monday, Jul. 24) for its biggest season yet, and all of your faves are back, and you will also be introduced to a bunch of newcomers to the show.

As we previously reported, R&B singer Keyshia Cole and rapper/TV personality Chanel West Coast will be joining the cast, as well as Alexis Skyy, celebrity stylist Zell Swag, “Girl Fight” singer Brooke Valentine, Cisco Rosado from LHHNY and more. Hazel E is making a comeback to the show with her new aspiring rapper boyfriend Rose Burgundy and Nia Riley has also returned to the series.

LHHH Season 4 will also feature the show’s vets, including newlyweds Ray J and Princess Love, Miss Nikki Baby, Moniece Slaughter (who is bringing along her new lesbian lover A.D.), Teairra Mari, Fizz, and Masika Kalysha. Safaree and newlyweds Lyrica and A1, who all joined last season, will also be returning to the show.

In the Season 4 premiere, LHHH newcomer Keyshia Cole confronts unresolved issues with her estranged husband, former NBA player Daniel “Boobie” Gibson. Meanwhile, chaos erupts when Hazel-E squares off against her “haters,” a sexy new arrival threatens to turn Masika’s world upside-down, and Teairra Mari has a lunch date.

Keep scrolling for more info. on each cast member, as well as spoilers and the synopsis for Love & Hip Hop Hollywood Season 9.

KEYSHIA COLE & DANIEL “BOOBIE” GIBSON

Keyshia Cole prepares for the release of her highly anticipated new album while juggling her co-parenting relationship with ex-NBA star Daniel “Booby” Gibson. Though she may be new to the cast she is definitely already a staple in the industry. Will she able to find the right balance between her music and her personal life?

RAY J & PRINCESS LOVE

Newlyweds Ray J. and Princess Love are back with plans to start a family. If Princess can manage to tame the reformed playboy R&B singer and Ray can manage to keep up his good behavior, it might be possible for them to enjoy their new family. Will they let friends and work separate them like before and make it past the honeymoon phase?

HAZEL E & ROSE BURGUNDY

Instagram Photo

Hazel E returns to the franchise with a new man by her side, a 25 year-old aspiring rapper. As long as he treats Hazel like his queen, she’s more than happy to bankroll their extravagant lifestyle.

BROOKE VALENTINE & MARCUS BLACK

A decade after the release of her hit single “Girl Fight,” Brooke Valentine is back on the scene working on a new album. She has been dating Marcus Black, one of the hottest up and coming rapper/songwriters in the business. Will the two thrive in the Hollywood spotlight or will the temptation of Tinsel town prove to be too much?

MASIKA KALYSHA

Masika Kalysha continues to embrace motherhood and works to further her career as an actress, singer and entrepreneur – but a major thorn from her ex-boyfriend’s past threatens to challenge her place in the Hollywood circle.

TEAIRRA MARI & CISCO ROSADO

Fan favorite Teairra Mari is ready to leave her past demons behind her as she looks to the future and her triumphant comeback as an artist. With her new man “Love & Hip Hop: New York’s” Cisco Rosado by her side and endless support from her friends, will 2017 be her year to shine?

MONIECE SLAUGHTER & ANNETTE “A.D.” DIGGS

Moniece Slaughter is back and is in a new relationship with entrepreneur Annette “A.D.” Diggs, who is looking to settle down. Are these two truly ready to take their relationship to the next level? Only time will tell.

LYRICA ANDERSON & FLOYD “A1” BENTLEY

Lyrica Anderson, hit songwriter for the likes of Timbaland, Beyoncé and Jennifer Lopez, is ready for the world to finally hear her voice. As she vies to establish her own career as an artist, her producer husband Floyd “A1” Bentley is already a star on the rise. Will their relationship withstand the climb to the top?

ALEXIS SKYY & SOLO LUCCI

Aspiring artist and social media star Alexis Skyy is newly settled in LA with her boyfriend Solo Lucci, an up-and-coming rapper who has left Atlanta for the Hollywood grind. Though she may be new in this sunny locale, her past relationship still follows her wherever she goes and she is looking to settle the score with one of his former flames.

NIKKI “MISS NIKKII BABY” MUDARRIS

Miss Nikki Baby is hard at work launching a new lip gloss line following the success of her Nude By Nikki brand of lingerie.

SAFAREE SAMUELS

Safaree is expanding his brand into the retail space as he prepares for the launch of his own brand of coconut oil and men’s boxer briefs.

FIZZ

Fizz returns to the cast after publishing his first book about fatherhood with plans to continue to further his brand.

ZELL SWAGG

Celebrity stylist Zell Swagg is at the center of the Hollywood social scene with close personal ties to A-list clients including Keyshia Cole, K. Michelle, & Remy Ma. How can he split his loyalty without threatening his livelihood?

NIA RILEY

Nia Riley has left her past drama behind and is ready to indulge in L.A.’s dating scene while she continues her career as a model and social influencer.

CHANEL WEST COAST

Rapper and MTV “Ridiculousness” co-host Chanel West Coast is ready to crush the competition and fully emerge as hip-hop’s next female star.

Read the official “Love & Hip Hop Hollywood” Season 4 synopsis (via VH1 press release) below:

With a new deal at Epic Records and a major album in the works, R&B icon Keyshia Cole is determined to re-assert herself as an A-list artist and make peace with her famously precarious personal life. After years of on-again / off-again drama with her husband, ex-NBA star Daniel “Booby” Gibson, she’s officially filing for divorce, even as the two navigate an unusual co-parenting relationship that finds them living under one roof while attempting to lead separate lives.

Meanwhile, ten years after her blockbuster single “Girl Fight,” Brooke Valentine strives to mount her own musical comeback, but betrayals by her boyfriend, up-and-coming rapper/songwriter Marcus Black, prove a constant distraction. When a scorned Brooke seeks comfort in the arms of her longtime best friend Daniel “Booby” Gibson, emerging romantic feelings threaten to complicate their unique bond — and further undermine his already fragile relationship with Keshia.

Powered by her thriving business empire and the love of a younger guy, Hazel-E is back in Hollywood — and ready to stunt on all the haters. At the top of her list? Masika Kalysha, who’s also busy waging a social media war against Fetty Wap’s OTHER ex, Atlanta-based dancer and Instagram star Alexis Skyy. Roaring into L.A. on a mission to confront her online nemesis, Alexis instead comes face-to-face with relationship drama involving her new man Solo Lucci, a white-hot Southern rapper on the come-up.

After the dismissal of her high-profile assault case, Teairra Mari re-emerges on the Hollywood scene in a brand new relationship with producer Cisco Rosado. Conflict erupts as Cisco butts heads with Teairra’s close friends – including Nia Riley and Keyshia Cole’s stylist Zellswag who worry that he’s enabling her self-destructive tendencies.

With multiple chart-climbing hits and the launch of his own record label, A1 Bentley’s career couldn’t be hotter. His marriage is a different story, as wife Lyrica Anderson struggles to complete her debut album while spending too many nights alone. When Lyrica bans A1 from collaborating with other female artists, she sets in motion a passive-aggressive battle that exposes both of their insecurities.

Moniece is back, and she’s in love… with a woman. After an intense, six-month “instant relationship,” Moniece and her girlfriend A.D. Diggs have just moved in together… and they seem like an ideal couple. But while Lil’ Fizz supports Moniece’s evolving sexual identity, he’s less enthusiastic about getting caught up in all the drama when she inevitably sabotages her own best shot at happiness.

Ready to show the world that she’s more than the giggling blonde girl on MTV’s “RIDICULOUSNESS,” Chanel West Coast is making moves to shift her hip-hop career into overdrive. When their mutual friend Miss Nikki Baby suggests they work together, Safaree is down with the idea — drawn to Chanel’s ambition and big social media following. But her demanding, aggressive, outspoken personality could make for a short-lived collaboration.

Finally, after several months abroad, Ray J. and Princess Love return to Hollywood with a focus on starting a family. But when baby-making proves more difficult than expected, Ray J. diverts his attention back to music – specifically his raunchy collaboration with Bridget Kelly, a tough and sexy former Roc Nation artist who just moved to L.A. in pursuit of a rare second shot at stardom.

“Love & Hip Hop Hollywood” Season 4 Cast, Synopsis and Spoilers is a post from: Gossip On This – Pop Culture, News, Videos & Humor

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Watch “Insecure” Season 2 Episode 1 (Premiere)

Season 2 of Issa Rae’s “Insecure” premiered on HBO Sunday night (Jul. 23).

Issa struggles in the aftermath of her breakup with Lawrence, while facing challenges at a new work assignment, as Season 2 begins. Meanwhile, Molly questions her worth at work, and Lawrence adjusts to his new living arrangement.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH “INSECURE” SEASON 2 EPISODE 1

Watch “Insecure” Season 2 Episode 1 (Premiere) is a post from: Gossip On This – Pop Culture, News, Videos & Humor

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Sarah Paulson Joined the Cast of the Unbreakable Sequel, & It’s Difficult Not to Get My Hopes Up

Note: This article includes major SPOILERS for the movie Split.

Every time I think I’m done caring about M. Night Shyamalan, he drops some gigantic breadcrumb, making sure I’ll follow his career at least a little longer. The latest being that corporeal goddess Sarah Paulson has joined the cast of his upcoming movie, Glass.

I had mixed feelings about Shyamalan’s last movie, Split, which we learned in the last few moments–again, SPOILERS–was a secret Unbreakable sequel all along. It was the closest thing Shyamalan has had to a real return to form in years. James McAvoy’s portrayal of 24 different personalities is incredible. But it’s impossible to overlook the catastrophic clumsiness he displayed in dealing with issues of sexual assault. The sexual and emotional torture of teenage girls felt exploitative and designed to tantalize. When her history of sexual abuse ends up being what saves Anya Taylor-Joy’s Casey, it’s handled so hamfistedly as to read as a “wow, good things can come from rape, too!” morality tale. If you are not excited for a follow-up, no one here will blame you in the slightest.

So why am I? To start, Unbreakable is one of my absolute favorite movies, though much of that may be nostalgia over the role it played in the development of my young self’s film aesthetic. It was the first DVD I ever bought. I’m finding it difficult to let go of that attachment, even though I found the tie-in at the end of Split to be wholly unnecessary.

Also, again, did I mention Sarah Paulson?

I will watch her in anything, and she elevates the quality of anything she’s in.

Next, lacking any details about the new movie (other than that McAvoy and Taylor-Joy are both returning), a look through Shyamalan’s Twitter feed is intriguing. To start:

That’s one hell of an encouraging list of influences.

This tweet also caught my attention:

I don’t want to project too much growth onto a vague tweet, but there are a number of characters from Unbreakable and Split that this could apply to, and if Shyamalan is open to recognizing the ways he should have done better by his (mostly female) characters, I’m interested to see what he does with that.

(H/T Variety, featured image: Shutterstock)

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Please Have Adam Driver Sing When He Guest Stars in Bob’s Burgers Hour-Long Christmas Special

Bob’s Burgers is always a delightful and hilarious watch, but their holiday episodes are definitely something special. Whether it’s Thanksgiving, Halloween, or Christmas, the show mixes the weird, totally-gross, and heart-warming in a way only Bob’s Burgers can to tell a story about the Belcher family and some wild shenanigans.

At the show’s Comic-Con panel, creator Loren Bouchard revealed that this year’s Christmas special will be an hour long, saying, “It should feel almost like a little Christmas movie … It’s kind of epic. It’s got an hourlong feel to it.” Even more exciting? Adam Driver, Kylo Ren of Star Wars, is set to guest star.

While Driver’s voice acting credit mainly include video games and The Simpsons, I’m excited to see him do more voice work. He has a really distinctive voice, and prior roles have shown he can be really hilarious and goofy when using it right. Maybe he’ll even get a chance to sing! Remember his “outer … space!” lines in Inside Llewyn Davis? Or this ridiculous Aladdin sketch on SNL? There’s just something about Driver’s voice that lends itself so well to funny songs. I’m looking forward to seeing what kind of role they write for him, in what’s sure to be another hilarious and creative Bob’s Burgers episode.

Other announcements EW shared included an upcoming couch gag for The Simpsons, a “completely fan-drawn episode,” and a guest appearance from Thomas Middleditch as “a kid named Alex who hosts Gene for his first sleepover.”

Can it be December already?

(via Nerdist, image: 20th Television)

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Justache League: Just Give Everyone a Mustache Instead of Removing Superman’s, Okay?

The stars of Justice League have apparently been called back for some very extensive reshoots, something to the tune of about four weeks for some of the movie’s biggest roles. According to Variety, this has caused some foul-ups with scheduling, as many of the headlining stars are already hard at work on other films. Henry Cavill, for example, is working on the next Mission: Impossible film, and his character calls for him to have a mustache—a decidedly un-Superman physical attribute, no? (I fully expect someone in the comments to drop hella examples of Supes with a mustache, not a beard, so who knows.)

Anyway, Variety states that the production is going to some seriously strange lengths to cover up the fact that they’re basically reshooting a mustachioed Superman: they’re actually removing the mustache digitally in post-production. Think about how much money is being spent to prevent this …

… when in fact they should just be totally doubling down on a mustache Superman. I mean, come on. Look at him. What kind of magical secrets lie trapped between this push broom and the milky white all-American skin underneath? If hairs could talk, I’m sure this hairy caterpillar of a ‘stache would have so many stories to share of alien worlds and secret hideaways in the Arctic. Why, with this mustache, Superman looks like he’d be right at home serving as a guard at Litchfield Penitentiary.

Do you think that Superman’s the kind of guy who notices the foamy mustache when he drinks hot cocoa on those cold, lonely nights in his frozen base? When he cracks open a cold one with the Justice Pals, do you think they’re the kind of friends (co-workers?) who tell him that he’s got a bit of foam on his mustache, or do they just sit there and giggle about it while Batman, the great detective, looks around very confused as to why everyone’s laughing? Do you think that maybe Superman would grow a mustache after Batman tells him he “looks so young” because he wanted to try a new form of psychological warfare against him as part of his ongoing research on How To Kill Literally Everybody On The Justice League? Do you think Barry Allen and Aquaman maybe have a competition going as to who can secretly steal more of Supes’ mustache hairs without him knowing (with the Flash winning by a clear margin because Aquaman keeps just straight up asking)?

Or do you think Wonder Woman is currently hard at work researching the phenomena of how growing facial hair as “rally beards” and such on sports teams can lead to higher morale and team unity and is thus trying to find out how to get everyone on board with growing a beard?

Like.

Yes. I would watch the everloving shit out of that movie. How much do you think they’d end up spending on mustache wax and little tiny combs?

Clearly Cameron Stewart is going the Lord’s work here, important research into a better, brighter, much more … virile Justice League. And frankly? This is the Justice League I want to see.

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Supergirl Fans Are Rightfully Angry With the Cast’s Flippant Dismissal of Kara/Lena Luthor Shippers

This weekend at Comic-Con, the cast of Supergirl was asked by MTV’s Josh Horowitz to do an improvised musical recap of the show’s second season. At one point, Jeremy Jordan, who plays Winn, sings about how Kara met a “new friend,” Lena Luthor (played by Katie McGrath). He then looks into the camera and yell-sings “They’re only friends! They’re only friends! They’re not gonna get together! They’re only friends.”

As you might have guessed, a lot of fans did not find Jordan’s joke funny.

While Jordan thought he was just making a harmless joke, “debunking” the “Supercorp” relationship, he has a fundamental misunderstanding of why shipping is so important to LGBTQIA fans.

[ETA: For the unfamiliar, “shipping” is when fans imagine a relationship (often times romantic) between characters that may or may not have been overtly intended by their writers or creators.]

LGBTQ+ representation is severely lacking on television, and respectful, fully developed queer relationships even more so. So fans will sometimes root for and support the relationships they want to see onscreen. Just because it isn’t planned by the show’s creators, or official canon, that doesn’t make it less important to fans.

And the very last thing those fans need is to be laughed at by someone on the show.

It’s worth noting that in the full video of the interview, McGrath voices a much more open response to the Supercorp shippers. She says that while she and Melissa Benoist didn’t expect this reaction to their onscreen friendship, she sees it as totally valid. “The great thing about what we do is, like any art, anybody can read into it what they want and take from it, so you can see anything and take from it what you like. And that’s what’s great about this show. There are so many different ways to see everything. And if that’s what you see in it, you know, take it away. It’s art.”

Jordan, though, took to Instagram to address people’s displeasure with his comments. He apologizes, but insists that people are misinterpreting his intentions.

I want you to know how much I love you. Yes, you. Yes, you too. And you. That’s all, kids. ❤️

A post shared by Jeremy Jordan (@jeremymjordan) on

Again, Jordan seems to be misunderstanding what the problem was. His apology still reads as incredibly dismissive of the feelings of fans, ultimately boiling down to “you got it wrong.”

Obviously, he got the message that fans were still upset.

U guys. I love u. I was wrong and I’m sorry. You’re all amazing and valid. ❤️

A post shared by Jeremy Jordan (@jeremymjordan) on

It’s not clear if he actually understands why fans were hurting, and why shipping goes deeper than just fun, silly fantasy. But at least it sounds like he’s open to the idea that just because he doesn’t understand something, that doesn’t mean it’s not important and worthy of his respect.

(image: CW)

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I Can’t Stand How Much Nostalgia Nickelodeon Packed Into the Hey Arnold Movie Peek

Real talk: it makes me kind of sick (in the best way!) to see how much nostalgia they poured into the new trailer for Hey Arnold: The Jungle Movie, Nickelodeon’s made-for-TV film that’s supposed to send off football head in (emotional, pining, wistful) style. I mean, look. It’s actually just a big sneak peek at the film, the central conceit of which revolves around Arnold winning a trip to San Lorenzo, where he finds out the truth about what happened to his parents. The trailer itself is a look at the video the neighborhood kids made about Arnold, talking up his incredible character and his really kind nature.

It’s a super, super clever look at some of Arnold’s best moments. Rather than just show them straight up like a “Hey, remember this, fellow kids?” kind of thing, they actually present it as if someone was filming those events from a different angle. The shot from the window of karate-Arnold standing off against those bullies is especially novel, and so is the one with Arnold, Harold, Harold’s kitty, and the cops standing in front of the boarding home where Arnold lives.

All of the moments in the trailer are tied to a specific episode in the show’s history, and they’re very cleverly presented here.

But what got to me the most was the short interview with Pigeon Man, who featured in one of the series’ most touching and poignant episodes. For those unaware: Pigeon Man, much like Stoop Kid, refused to leave his rooftop abode, saying he prefers the company of pigeons over other humans. Arnold convinces him to come see the city, which has changed significantly since his self-exile. While away, some of the school bullies come up to the Pigeon Man’s home and attempt to pull a prank, but accidentally end up ruining everything up there instead. Arnold is left appalled by what happens, and the Pigeon Man just sort of loses much of his faith in humanity. He actually ends up tying himself to a bunch of pigeons, who fly him off into the sunset.

In fact, this ending proved to be a bit of a hotbed for fan theories and rumors, which argue that Pigeon Man actually killed himself (or was supposed to kill himself, until studio execs disagreed), and Arnold kind of revised the memory there because it was so traumatic. Yeah, freakin’ dark, right?

Series creator Craig Bartlett refuted any and all such rumors as they popped up, and he hopes to put them all to a final rest as he pointedly put Pigeon Man in this sneak peek. Here, he’s shown alive and well in front of the Notre-Dame in Paris. “Arnold helped me escape the cage of my old rooftop habitat,” he says. “Now, I’m as free as a bird. Merci, Arnold.” Like. Damn.

Okay, just. We make a lot of jokes about nostalgia and how everything these days is kind of just cashing in on that trend. But I have to say that in a world full of Ready Player Ones and other “Hello, fellow Millennials” franchises, this might actually buck the trend and give an earnest look at a show that certainly made an impact on many lives, both within and without its own universe.

I’ll say this, though: I fully expected Mr. Hyunh to make an appearance in the film. Mr. Hyunh is an immigrant from Vietnam, and in the episode, “Arnold’s Christmas,” Arnold learns that Mr. Hyunh has an estranged daughter. He and Mai, his daughter, were trying to escape from war-torn Vietnam, but the helicopter filled up before they could get there. Mr. Hyunh handed Mai, an infant at the time, over to the U.S. soldier who was watching the door of the helicopter. He told Mr. Hyunh where to find her when he got to America, but Mr. Hyunh couldn’t hear him over the rotors.

Arnold spends nearly the entire episode trying to find her, and ultimately fails as a bureaucratic adoption agency guy staunchly refuses to work on the case for him. Helga actually comes to the rescue (secretly!) and convinces the guy to make the connection. It ends with Mr. Hyunh reuniting with Mai in another one of the series’ most touching scenes.

True, Arnold wasn’t directly responsible for her showing up, and true, it was part of a secret Santa exchange, so he might not have known, but still, I think such a powerful, compelling moment could have certainly found a place in this scene.

But who knows, we’ve still got a whole lot of movie ahead of us, and there’s still a lot to see. I just fully expect the tour will pay some solid nods to some of the show’s more heartfelt moments. And given the look of this trailer, I also think those expectations will be well paid off in the end.

Hey Arnold: The Jungle Movie comes to Nickelodeon on November 23rd.

(image: screengrab)

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If Snopes Ever Won You a Bar Bet, Then You Should Kick In Cash to #SaveSnopes From Closure – Who snopes the snopers?

Snopes.com needs your help. Yesterday, in a blog post, the editorial team posted an appeal to their readers, saying that they’re currently at the mercy of an ad vendor, who is essentially holding the site hostage.

The post says, “We had previously contracted with an outside vendor to provide certain services for Snopes.com. That contractual relationship ended earlier this year, but the vendor will not acknowledge the change in contractual status and continues to essentially hold the Snopes.com web site hostage. Although we maintain editorial control (for now), the vendor will not relinquish the site’s hosting to our control, so we cannot modify the site, develop it, or — most crucially — place advertising on it. The vendor continues to insert their own ads and has been withholding the advertising revenue from us.”

The only way to get Snopes out of trouble, it seems, is to kick in money to their crowdfunding campaign, which has a goal of $500,000. Before some smart-aleck posts a comment: yes, it’s believed that this campaign is true and real, as the plea for money comes from their own website, plus this post from The Atlantic covers what exactly is entailed in their legal issues.

If you’ve used Snopes at all before (and we like to think that our readers are smart and do so regularly to fact check their stuff), then maybe consider kicking them a few bucks. They’re already at over $206,000 raised and counting.

(image Shutterstock/BillionPhotos.com)

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Things We Saw Today: Girls Trip Blows up the Box Office and Shows the Power of Diverse Female-Led Media

How many times will movies with strong female characters and diverse casts need to absolutely destroy on opening weekend before Hollywood gets the message? This should be the norm for filmmaking going forward, not the exception.

The raunchy R-rated comedy Girls Trip, starring Jada Pinkett Smith, Regina Hall, Tiffany Haddish, and Queen Latifah, achieved an incredible A+ audience rating score and racked up a jaw-dropping $30.4 million at the box office. THR points out that Girls Trip‘s haul is “the best start for an R-rated comedy in two years and the best showing for any live-action comedy so far this year. The movie achieved those distinctions because it appealed to an array of audiences: African Americans made up 51 percent of ticket buyers, followed by Caucasians at 38 percent.” Hey, did you know that audiences universally appreciate excellent casting and scripts and women being goddamned hilarious? It’s so funny how that works out!

By contrast, Christopher Nolan’s Dunkirk also had a strong opening with $50.5 million, but that movie had $100 million budget and wall-to-wall ad campaigns, whereas Girls Trip was a steal with a $20 million budget. This is the summer of leading ladies absolutely owning critical praise and mining box office gold. Hollywood, MORE OF THIS. I want to stop writing about successful badass women-at-the-forefront properties having to prove anything to anyone anymore. (via THR)

  • Wait, what?

     And then the plot, it thickens, after the TSA straight-up denies it had any part in the comics travel ban.

  • Swimmer Michael Phelps raced a shark, or something? I was in the woods all weekend. Someone has to parse this one for me. (via Pajiba)
  • All of the other Funkos can go home forever.

  • This is really, really not a good look for Ready Player One author Ernest Cline, a.k.a. “Nerd Porn Auteur.”

  • A better way to act is to be like Circa Survive guitarist Brendan Ekstrom, who stopped his performance mid-song to alert security after catching sight of a woman being sexually harassed in the crowd. (via The Daily Dot)
  • Every time I think I can’t be more excited for Thor: Ragnarok I am actually incorrect in this assumption.

  • The Pokemon Go Fest was an unmitigated disaster where players could not even play Pokemon Go. I imagine it was a little bit like spending the day as a magikarp, basically just helplessly thrashing around in a field.  (via Polygon)

So what’s on your mind today, my little fishies?

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(image: Universal Studios)

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Everyone Is Tearing Apart Jared Kushner’s Press Conference on His Innocence

You may have heard that Donald Trump’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner, who is also a White House senior adviser because this administration is run like the mafia, is under some scrutiny due to his failure to disclose meetings with Russian officials—including the one he attended with Donald Trump Jr. and then-Trump Campaign Manager Paul Manafort. He testified to the Senate behind closed doors today and then held a press conference in which he proclaimed his innocence, because why wouldn’t we take him at his word?

I mean, it’s not like the story around what happened between the Trump campaign and Russian officials has rapidly morphed from “there’s nothing there” to “alright, there’s stuff there that we were trying to keep secret, but it’s all OK and above board, we promise.” It’s not like people deeply tied to the financial and real estate industries have ever done anything to hide any shady financial dealings. It’s not like Kushner’s father-in-law, who employs him in the White House, is a well-known huckster who slaps his recognizable name on cheap products to make a buck, had an outright fraudulent “university,” lies way more than any politician, or is only distinguished from your average con man by being born rich enough to convince people he’s actually a successful business man.

It’s nothing like that, so we should just go ahead and believe him, I guess. I mean, he literally said at his press conference, “I did not collude with Russia, nor do I know of anyone else in the campaign who did so,” because of course he did. He wasn’t exactly going to come out and confess, so it’s pretty difficult to take him at his word, making the whole exercise effectively useless—except for in providing some excellent meme material. Even if he really did mean what he was saying—and maybe especially—he looked positively furious at his own innocence:

Sincerely, it looks like he spent his ’80s childhood watching all the same movies we did, but he identified with the wrong side every time, and it’s coming back to bite us all:

He also claimed that he took the meeting with Trump Jr., that emails indicated was “part of Russia and its government’s support for Mr. Trump,” without reading far enough back in that email chain to know that’s what the meeting was about.

Hey, at least his short attention span for reading campaign-related emails could help explain why he’s not aware of anyone who colluded with Russia.

He also mentioned that he’s been completely transparent, and that one we can kind of get behind:

But this defense? Save it. Don Jr.’s a “good buy,” according to Trump, and now this about Kushner. How. Many. Times.

(image: Ovidiu Hrubaru / Shutterstock.com)

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